tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post1627265164273446336..comments2022-03-22T15:49:16.429+05:30Comments on Raghudon Speaks: Debate on men and womenRaghunandan Jagdishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16409344362521270093noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-33865165255009438412006-10-26T01:28:00.000+05:302006-10-26T01:28:00.000+05:30Humourous and well written. With my experience, ra...Humourous and well written. With my experience, rather, the lack of it thereof, excuse what I've conjured up a "moral of the story". It is as under...<br />A "stick up the ass" is a metaphor for a spine on steroid. It assumes an artificiality of sorts. An artificiality that festers and feeds off the reaction that it garners from others. It's a mix of temporary allure and shock-and-awe. For a moment in time, you dispel the myth that you are a push-over. On the contrary, you feel like you're creating push-overs of those who surround you. You think you can really "stick up" to people and "stick down" your nose at them. You're doing a darn good job of it too. After all, as the old adage goes, it isn't a lie, if you believe it's true. Or something to that effect. I mess up quotes sometimes. Excusez-moi.<br />Point is, as all things do, this too passes. When your spine on steroid starts to have an overbearing influence on others, you think that perhaps, you must start letting up a little. You obviously wouldn't want a host of flies swarming over you and clinging to you like you're delightful shit-pie. The other extreme being, you wouldn't want to piss them off beyond reconciliation or keep the numbers in check atleast. You're bound to piss some smart arses off for sure, because they've been there before and they know your game.<br />And anyway, golden rule, when someone accuses you of using dope, you vehemently and categorically deny all charges.<br />Just as when the spine, fresh on dope, recorded activity gaining in intensity in quick time, so does the activity start to die down. Once you've acceded to the thought of letting up a little, it's all spiralling downwards.<br />You're grandiosity crumbles bit by bit and a new man / woman emerges (whichever applies). Improved, imformed, resolute and strong, yet reformed and sensitive to the feelings of others.<br />Wow, as I am writing this, I am reminded of Nietzche's "Ubermensch" or "Superman". Note to readers, if any : This was not a conscious attempt to ape. I must, however, admit, that as I am applying my logic to this, I am more so convinced of Nietzche's viewpoint.<br />Anyway, I think one needs to experience both to assimilate the pros and the cons of being in both situations at different points in time and then arrive at the all-too important "balance".<br />Further, being on either side is the result of free will. You make conscious choices. It is not a question of who you are and who you are not. It is a question of what you can do to achieve the purpose you wish to achieve going by either option. Human as we are, we wish to achieve different things at different points in time. Hence, the lack of focus, constant moulding and meandering until we've been through a range of experiences that parallel each other and finally, as in this case, we "pull the stick out". Or going by my metaphor for it, you go into rehab mode to achieve the aforementioned "balance".<br />I see this as inevitable not because it's unconscious but because it is conscious.<br />Of course, I'm not fixated with my opinion in this matter, after all, I am but a child and so I can consciously change it :P<br />I'd apologise if I thought that this might be perceived as a big waste of time and that I'm unnecessarily wordy and garrulous.<br />But you see, I am but a child and I can't consciously come up with that yet.<br />Hehehe... solid confusion. I'll stop now.<br />Good read again, Mr. Raghudon. Later.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08360002032145609989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-40209049116382621382006-10-26T00:18:00.000+05:302006-10-26T00:18:00.000+05:30What is the meaning of finishing last here??? I me...What is the meaning of finishing last here??? I mean nice guys finish last.... hmm so does that mean that what is really happening here is that one will be classified as finishing first would be the one who scores the most? If that is the case then the nice guys will always finish last, because they believe in scoring very less...and probably just once, so that their choice is perfect to last a lifetime.<br /><br />If that is not the criteria for classification then what is it... being able to win a beautiful girl's heart is the criteria?? If I get it right, then there is this beautiful girl up for grabs (pardon the pun) and there are a number of guys vying for her attention, so the nicest guy would be picked last by the girl...sorry if that is the case then the girl is a dumb blonde...just in the same way when a guy goes all out to be with a girl just because she looks gorgeous. I can understand these hormonal imbalances when girls and guys are in their teens, but not when they are grown up...I mean above 22..<br /><br />I have heard so many cases about women putting up with nasty guys in the hope that they will change, even knowing fully well that the chances are next to nothing. Not that these women are not independent, and they have to rely on these bullies. There seems to be no logical explanation and all I can think of is women are much more conscious about what others will think of them and their actions than men. <br /><br />So when it so happens that they land up with the wrong guy, they put up with them more than it is required. Frankly I have no pity for such women, because they set up a very wrong example for their children.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15511455291615256195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-81879245456991215272006-10-26T00:17:00.000+05:302006-10-26T00:17:00.000+05:30What is the meaning of finishing last here??? I me...What is the meaning of finishing last here??? I mean nice guys finish last.... hmm so does that mean that what is really happening here is that one will be classified as finishing first would be the one who scores the most? If that is the case then the nice guys will always finish last, because they believe in scoring very less...and probably just once, so that their choice is perfect to last a lifetime.<br /><br />If that is not the criteria for classification then what is it... being able to win a beautiful girl's heart is the criteria?? If I get it right, then there is this beautiful girl up for grabs (pardon the pun) and there are a number of guys vying for her attention, so the nicest guy would be picked last by the girl...sorry if that is the case then the girl is a dumb blonde...just in the same way when a guy goes all out to be with a girl just because she looks gorgeous. I can understand these hormonal imbalances when girls and guys are in their teens, but not when they are grown up...I mean above 22..<br /><br />I have heard so many cases about women putting up with nasty guys in the hope that they will change, even knowing fully well that the chances are next to nothing. Not that these women are not independent, and they have to rely on these bullies. There seems to be no logical explanation and all I can think of is women are much more conscious about what others will think of them and their actions than men. <br /><br />So when it so happens that they land up with the wrong guy, they put up with them more than it is required. Frankly I have no pity for such women, because they set up a very wrong example for their children.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15511455291615256195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-3293135676304024302006-10-25T07:41:00.000+05:302006-10-25T07:41:00.000+05:30Viren, very succint thoughts. Thank you for postin...Viren, very succint thoughts. Thank you for posting them here. I will comment more on your take later.Raghunandan Jagdishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409344362521270093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-23830441180209041032006-10-25T06:10:00.000+05:302006-10-25T06:10:00.000+05:30I would like to express my opinions on this topic ...I would like to express my opinions on this topic and thanks to Raghu for providing this opportunity.<br /><br />I agree...the spineless can be either a man or a woman...coz I have seen both kinds. I just dont like the term spineless. These people are not cowards...they are just inexperienced and have no idea what to do.<br /><br />We hear it all the time that you have to be yourself in a relationship etc. but I believe that you also need to be slightly manipulative. Not to hurt or take advantage of the other person..but just to maintain a balance in the relationship. <br /><br />Ok here we are talking about nice guys finishing last. Well to start with the so called nice guys need to understand a few basic laws:<br />1. We tend to follow things which elude us<br />2. If we get something easily we start doubting its worth and credibility<br />3. (the most important law) Value is proportional to Demand/Supply<br /><br />These are not some new laws...we all know these. But we think that these do not apply to relationships. As a matter of fact they do.<br /><br />People confuse attraction with logic. In reality they have little or no relation to each other. First and foremost liking depends on that particular person. Obviously one man's food can be other man's poison. we like/love something depending on our past memories/experiences and what we perceive to be important and lovable. The little relation to logic is that the person has to meet our bare minimum thresold for lovability...but even that is not hard and fast...e.g. a girl might not be very pretty as per my opinion but her smartness or the way she presents herself or something else will easily compensate for that. But let us imagine a situation where say there are 5 girls which meet our so called minimum criteria in core departments such as beauty, brains and character (within a sufficient tolerance band)....but you might get attracted to one particular girl. So what does that one girl have more than the other 4? I think its just that we think that this particular girl evokes a special feeling in us....an attraction which might be difficult to explain. And this attraction is not something which happens at one point of time. Frankly speaking and I am sure others will agree that Love at first sight only happpens in novels and movies. Its a gradual process and it depends on how the 2 people involved behave with each other.<br /><br />It might be helpful to look at the above stated 3 laws for a possible explanation of attraction which may or may not be followed by a relationship. We are usually attracted towards and pursue things which elude us. So if that girl/guy maintains his own distance but yet is good to the other person...the perceived value of the person goes up. If the guy/girl is always at a beacon call from the other person then that person starts doubting the value/worth of the relationship. So it is very important to maintain that sacred demand/supply ratio. The person who has the lower self confidence of the two usually commits the mistake of increasing the supply without demand. This results in a decrease in the value perceived by the other person. <br /><br />On the question as to why there cannot be a right the first time situation. Well...once you have the intial attraction going one has to meticulously and carefully maintain the sacred ratio if he wants the relationship to survive. I am not saying that we become deceptive and stop being who we really are...but you have to agree that sometimes we do go overboard. Well its ok to be overboard sometimes...but if you do it everytime then you are calling for a sharp decrease in perceived value of all your efforts. So even if you are succesful in scoring the initial points in attraction department one needs to be vigilant, flexible, patient and controlled in order to keep the perceived value high. Its not that you should pretend to be someone else..its just that you need to regulate the flow of your emotions and your actions. And I didnt say that is easy.Virendra Mohitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12060505054201166074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-30403332480817275112006-10-24T20:56:00.000+05:302006-10-24T20:56:00.000+05:30Suba:
Thanks for your comments. Agreed, thats exac...Suba:<br />Thanks for your comments. Agreed, thats exactly my point... why cant there be a first time right policy? why cant two people of the same kind meet and stay happily ever after? <br />is it that in the initial stage, the similar will repeal and opposites attract? and then when people are erious about stability, they look for a semblance of compatibility? <br /><br />and you are right, it can be about spineless "humans" ... i wrote man as i was thinking about it from the male perspective.Raghunandan Jagdishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409344362521270093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32408930.post-20308998920134334392006-10-24T17:59:00.000+05:302006-10-24T17:59:00.000+05:30I really liked the parable. But it can easily be ...I really liked the parable. But it can easily be converted to show a woman without a spine goign through all that :):) It doesn't matter whether it is a man or a woman, it's just about a spineless human.<br />As for why women date jerks - I'd read it for the humour at best. Yes, "humans" are attracted to the bad ones, but isn't that just for fun and for a fling? How many do it to get married and settled down?Subahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14497418396135670377noreply@blogger.com