Monday, April 22, 2019

How to Defeat the Demons of Negativity

Reposting an interesting article that Raghudon loved reading!

Illustration by John P. WeissLife

The other day I was in a grocery store line. There was an elderly man ahead of me, interacting with the cashier. They were sorting out a price check. The cashier was being patient and kind with the old gentleman, treating him the way we'd like to be treated.

Behind me in line stood a man and a woman. The woman muttered under her breath, "Every time! This happens every time!" Clearly, she was feeling impatient about the old man holding up the line.

I listened to the old gentleman, who was gracious and jovial with the cashier, while the impatient woman behind me sighed and fidgeted with her cell phone.

Beyond the cashier, I observed the hurly-burly of afternoon shoppers around us. Carts filled with every imaginable item, from juices and breads to lotions and paper towels. Just about anything you needed you could find in the grocery store. An embarrassment of choices.

My turn came up. I greeted the cashier, helped bag my items, and was on my way. As I approached my vehicle, I held up my key fob and clicked to unlock the doors. I unloaded my groceries and started to push the cart I was using to the nearby collection stall. Just then a young grocery store employee said, "Oh, here, I'll take care of that for you." I thanked her and slid into my car.

I pressed the ignition button and my car started, just like it always does. I clicked on my music, and without fail it began playing the soothing piano music of Joep Beving.

I took a deep breath and sat back, thinking about the impatient woman in line.

Petty inconveniences

Why are we like that? What do we default to negativity so quickly? If the woman was honest with herself, she'd admit that delays in the check stand aisle don't happen "every time." In fact, most of the time she probably moves right along and pays for her things.

Why not recognize how much stuff goes right in our lives? Every single day.

Almost without fail, grocery stores stock the things we need. Cashiers conduct pleasant transactions and help bag our goods. Our cars nearly always start. Music plays without fail. Thousands of planes take off and land without incident daily.

It seems to be human nature to find the negative. To complain and gripe about petty inconveniences. Yet we fail to appreciate the multitude of things that consistently go right in our lives.

Reacquaint myself with gratitude

I'm not perfect. I've had my days, too. When the old guy in front of me is driving like a sloth. Usually when I have to catch a flight or running late to an appointment.

So, I'm trying to reacquaint myself with gratitude. Thankfulness for all the things that go right in my life. From my health to the car starting to the licks of love my dogs give me every day.

Instead of fixating on negative comments from readers, I focus on the many positive remarks. Rather than lament the broken gate latch, I celebrate how well everything else works in my home.

Yes, sometimes bad stuff happens. The trick is to not let it drag you down. Embrace gratitude for all the things that go right in your life, every day.

Doing so will lift your spirit, and help you defeat the demons of negativity.

Before you go

I'm John P. Weiss. I draw, paint, and write about life. Come follow along here.

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"Price Is What You Pay, Value Is What You Get !"


Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Thought for the day #raghudonspeaks

Be more Concerned with *Your Character than with Your Reputation.*

*Your Character is what You Really Are,* 


*Your Reputation is merely what Others Think You Are..*

*Gm. Hv an Awesome Day!*🌹😃 

"Price Is What You Pay, Value Is What You Get !"


Saturday, April 13, 2019

#raghudonapeaks - Happiness what does it mean?

Recently Raghudon was having a moment of self talk and gself thought.... I remembered a line from one of my favorite books.   
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig. "The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there." "When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a Religion."
OK, forget about the religion part... I got thinking about Happiness. 

It's seen that most of our lives aims we want to be happy, but never. The below ramblings are just thoughts in motion in that direction. 

What's your definition of happiness? Research in the field of positive psychology and happiness often define a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety and anger (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005). Happiness has also been said to relate to life satisfaction, appreciation of life, moments of pleasure, but overall it has to do with the positive experience of emotions.

The key to these definitions is that positive emotions do not indicate the absence of negative emotions. A "happy person" experiences the spectrum of emotions just like anybody else, but the frequency by which they experience the negative ones may differ. It could be that "happy people" don't experience as much negative emotion because they process it differently or they may find meaning in a way others have not. In fact, using the phrase "happy person" is probably incorrect because it assumes that they are naturally happy or that positive things happen to them more often. Nobody is immune to life's stressors, but the question is whether you see those stressors as moments of opposition or moments of opportunity.

Regardless of where you are on the happiness spectrum, each person has their own way of defining happiness. Philosophers, actors, politicians, and everybody in between have all weighed in on their own view of happiness. Read some of our favorite definitions below and let us know what resonated with you. 

The ancient Greeks defined happiness as:

"Happiness is the joy that we feel when we're striving after our potential."

Shirley MacLaine, Academy Award winner, said:

"To be happy, you have to be willing to be compliant with not knowing."

Michael J. Fox said:

"My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations."

Gabrielle Bernstein, author, said:

"Choosing happiness is the path of least resistance."

Aristotle said:

"Happiness is a state of activity."

Dr. Shefali Tsabary, psychologist and author, said:

"Only when we fill our own need and feel satiated from within can we truly be fulfilled and happy."

Eleanor Roosevelt said:

"Someone once asked me what I regarded as the three most important requirements for happiness. My answer was: A feeling that you have been honest with yourself and those around you; a feeling that you have done the best you could both in your personal life and in your work; and the ability to love others."

What's great about all these definitions is that commonalities start emerging. Shirley MacLaine and Michael J. Fox tell us to accept life's situations and to accept uncertainty as a natural part of life. And the greater we are able to do that, the greater we can lean into happiness. Mastin Kipp tells us it's ok to not strive to be happy, but accept whatever we're feeling. He hints at an important concept, which is that we so often try to fix things and get to be "happy" or "at peace" or "over a situation," but sometimes we need to acknowledge what we're feeling (whatever that is). What you often find is that acknowledgement will allow you to move into the "happy space" more quickly because your emotions aren't trying to get your attention. Your emotions aren't screaming at you, telling you that you're sad or angry. You've already begun the work of processing it.

So now it's your turn to begin finding the happiness in you. What brings you joy? Maybe it's a night in watching TV. Maybe it's a night out at a new restaurant in town. Maybe it's staying up late watching a movie with your significant other. Maybe it depends on your mood. Wherever your happiness resides, go enjoy it. And tell us which of these definitions of happiness resonated with you most 

"Price Is What You Pay, Value Is What You Get !"


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