Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Male bashing

I have been accussed far too often of being an MCP

Here is a series on good male bashing jokes… no prizes for guessing that they were invented by a guy to please his wife!

Here they are!


He said...I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants don't you?

He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room..."My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it... "I do not"

Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A.Both of them.

Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A.He buys two cases of beer.

Q.What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A.The bonds mature.

Q.Why are blonde jokes so short?
A.So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A.We don't know; it has never happened.

Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q.Why are married women heavier than single women?
A.Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A.They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."



Sunday, October 25, 2009

Interesting Quotes

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not
lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

No guy is worth crying over because the ones that actually are wouldn't make you

When you think that no one knows what your going through or what your feeling,
you are wrong because somewhere, someone is feeling the exact same thing at that
exact moment.

Some people see things the way they are and ask why. I dream things that never
were and ask why not.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day
to love someone -but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble
remembering how to fly.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

Once upon a time, something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever
could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true. It was the day I met you.

A girl and a guy can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall
for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or
maybe forever...

The more you study,the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget,
the more you forget, the less you know so why study.

If you really love something set it free, if it comes back, its yours. If it
doesnt, it was never meant to be.

Some day you will love me as I loved you. Some day you will cry for me as I
cried for you. Some day you will want me, and I won't want you!

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can
never get it back.

I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live
my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what
you do. I'm sorry I just can't help myself. I fell in love with you.

You take for granted that I'll always be here, but just because I love you it
doesn't mean I won't disappear.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There's no use in
being a damn fool about it.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,
when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than

It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does...

The first time I saw you, I knew it was true. That I'd love you forever and
that's what I'll do. You don't know what you do to me. You don't have a clue.
You don't know what it's like to be me looking at you.

Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined by just one busted condom?

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they
panic and give in.

How can you love someone so much that they're the only reason you look forward
to waking up in the morning, but they don't feel the same about you?

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. ("Closing Time" by

Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now.

The two words guys hate most are "don't" and "stop" unless they are next to each
other - "Don't Stop!"

I went up the door and closed the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers,
turned off the bed and jumped into light, all because you kissed me goodnight.

People keep telling me that one day the right guy will come along. I think mine
got hit by a bus.

Cross Country running is like hitting your head against a wall; it feels good
when you stop.

Real men date cross country runners. Catch us if you can.

When your legs, stomach, chest, arms, and head hurt and you feel like you're
going to die, then you know you are ready to start the second mile.

God made cross country runners. The Devil made the course.

The truth is, you can always run faster. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Worry is a payment for a debt that you may never owe.

Cross Country was invented to make water taste good.

I'm sorry I offended you; I should have lied.

How come we choose from just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are
dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all have to
learn to live in the same box.

Men are like slinkies...not really good for anything but you still can't help
but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Men are like horoscopes...they always tells you what to do and are usually

I wanted to have children until someone told me that she was in labor for 36
hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours!

People who live in glass houses shouldn't cavort nude on top of a piano doing
gorilla impersonations.

Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick
them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know that's
impossible but it's too bad anyway. (The Catcher in the Rye...and Ale's profile)

You ask me why I run? It's the same reason I breathe, because I have to.

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew
that looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

My whole world surrounds you; I stumble then I crawl. You could be my
someone...There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far. ("Blurry" by
Puddle of Mudd)

Everyone is changing; there's no one left that's real. ("Blurry" by Puddle of

Even heroes have the right to bleed. ("Superman" by Five for Fighting)

Sometimes you're at your best when you feel the worst. ("Nice Guys Finish Last"
by Green Day)

You know it's love when the tiny details, those insignificant to others, mean
everything to you.

It is not how hard you pushed along the way. It is having something in you to
finish. (Michael Jordan)

If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done.

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than
oneself.~Thanks to all of the heroes of 9/11

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about but few have seen.

It's not the men in your life that count, it's the life in your men.

God gave men larger brains than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at
cocktail parties.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is
to laugh. But then I think, what if I were an ant, and she fell on me. Then it
wouldn't seem quite so funny.

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. (Stendhal)

Seen as an advertisement for an alcoholic ice cream drink at Friday's..."I
scream. You scream. Our ears hurt. We stop." (lol Kay and Sarah)

Don't settle for the one you can live with...wait for the one you can't live

Girls don't lie. They simply bend they truth to fit their mood.

When you like someone, put their name in a circle not a heart because hearts can
be broken but circles are neverending.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about
it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't
utter. (James Earl Jones)

StEfCaChOn [10:13 PM]: yeah.... guys are shits (that's classic steph!)

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you
can't have them.

Well, I'm happy most of the time, but sometimes I'm sad. (that pretty much sums
steph up in a few words)

What if weird meant normal and normal meant weird? (now that's

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. (Oscar Wilde)

You have to get used to everything, you know; it's like starting out someplace
where you've never been before...Everything is different and you don't know how
to get used to it...There's too much of it and it's all around you and you can't
get hold of it because it's going on too fast...You've got to put a lot of
things out of your mind, or you're going to get all mixed up. You've got take it
easy and get drunk once and a while and just forget about who you are. It's hard
and you want to give up...You want to think you belong someplace. (House Made Of

Hope clouds observation. (Dune)~the quote of my life :) haha

Should I smile because you're my friend or cry because that's all you'll ever

It's not the risks you take in life that you regret; it's the ones you don't

Why do we say love hurts? It's the absence of love that hurts.

I see him, but he sees past me. I look in his eyes, but he looks around me. Does
he know what I see when he stares through me? I see him and I can't help
watching him, not watching me.

Moment to moment, there are aspects of life that we like, and others we don't.
There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things
differently, and things that don't work out. If you fight against this principle
of life, you'll spend most of your life fighting battles.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they

You ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear you don't feel the same way
for me. The problem is, as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force
myself to stop loving you.

There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as
I advise.

It's not telling you how I feel that scares me; it's what you'll say back.

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer
not to hear.
(Herbert Agar)

Have you ever found the one you've dreamed of all your life? You'd do just about
anything to look into their eyes. Have you finally found the one you've given
your heart to? Only to find that one won't give their heart to you. Have you
ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there? And all you can do is
wait for that day when they will care. ("Have You Ever" by Brandy)

I've given up looking for the meaning of life...all I want now is a cookie.

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that
makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic. (Dune)

Simultaneously hope is mankind's greatest strength and its greatest weakness.
(Matrix Reloaded)

That's me...I'm just a bird, flying all alone, trying to catch up with the
others but getting lost among the clouds. (another great quote from Steph lol)

I can't pretend I don't care when you don't think about me. Do you think I
deserve this?...How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time. I don't know
why I'm still waiting. I can't make you mine. ("Addicted" by Simple Plan)

Nobody really cares if you're miserable so you might as well be happy. (Cynthia

People will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart
of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, "Where did the creator
of the Jetsons go and why hasn't he done something about this?" (Jimmy Fallon)

It's not having what you want; it's wanting what you've got. ("Soak up the Sun"
by Sheryl Crow)

At least bugs are attracted to me. (Kayleigh lol)

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live
life completely.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for a meaning in Pauly
Shore movies. (Cher in "Clueless")

If you give off signals that you don't want to belong, people will make sure
that you don't.

There is a great big world out there and it won't matter if you are the most
popular girl, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in
school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it. (Josie in "Never
Been Kissed")

It's frightening when things you love appear suddenly changed from what you have
always known. (The Poisonwood Bible)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do
than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe
harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. (Mark

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us
our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. (George Carlin)

Ale407 (11:04:53 PM): BOYS ARE THE ROOT OF EVIL

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to
stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have
dinner with.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the

Since the moment I spotted you, like walking around with little wings on my
shoes. My stomach's filled with the butterflies...and it's alright. Bouncing
round from cloud to cloud, I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down.
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied. Everytime I try to talk to
you, I get tongue-tied. Turns out everything I say to you comes out wrong and
never comes out right. ("Why Don't You and I" by Chad Kroeger and Santana)

I think there was a law passed in Congress that says a Starbucks must be within
hearing distance of every other Starbucks, so that when someone stands at one
Starbucks and says, 'Hey, where's the nearest Starbucks?' someone at the next
nearest Starbucks can hear them and say, 'It's right here, you douchebag.' (Bob

Everything happens for a reason...

Never give up on something you can't go a day not thinking about.

I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate, but looking
for (him) is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another
pizza. (Alf Whit)

I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose;
they should draw the line at goats though. (Elton John)

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own
ass, okay? (Denis Leary)

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut. (Ernest Hemmingway)

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late. (Henry Youngman)

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering
from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're
okay, then it's you. (Rita Mae Brown)

Philadelphia isn't just a city that lies between the shadows of New York and
Washington, it is a city where the Eagles are the topic of dinner conversation
year round and most people still listen to the Phillies on the radio. It is
where a meal consists of a cheesesteak, Yuengling, soft pretzel and Tasty Kakes
for dessert. It is where there is a Wawa on every corner, and you look forward
to the first day of Spring when Rita's gives out free water ice. Most
importantly, it is the friendliest place on earth, where everyone is brothers
and it is ok to say hello to someone you don't know. That is Philadelphia.
Outsiders will never understand.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your
zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. (George Burns)

Ain't it funny how everything works out...Just take it day by day, by day. (Big

Have you ever wanted something when you were holding onto nothing. And you'd
take anything, anything at all. (Big Skye)

All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry.
And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the
rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband. (Marie
from "When Harry Met Sally")

Cheerleaders are dancers gone retarded. ("Bring It On")

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing
special... ("Steel Magnolias")

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a
voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." (Charlie Brown)

My husband is going to be the biggest jerk. He's going to beat me and I'm gonna
love it! (wow

The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave
when we don't know what to do.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I
wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too. Cause I'm dreaming of
you tonight, till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight. And there's nowhere in
the world i'd rather be than here in my room dreaming about you and me. Wonder
if you ever see me and I wonder if you know I'm there. If you looked in my eyes,
would you see what's inside, would you even care? I just wanna hold you close
but so far all I have are dreams of you. So I wait for the day, To take the
courage to say how much I love you. ("Dreaming of You" by Selena)

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
(Franklin P. Jones)

Friends: a simple word, isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person
imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people
that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that; they're
the people that touch your heart. They're the people you can share your secrets
with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make
you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a
great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in
common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied
together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing
in the world. I find my time with my friends the best times of my life. My
friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, my tears, my love and my

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be
sitting next to you saying "Damn...that was fun"!

I'm not a perfect person, as many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue
learning... ("The Reason" by Hoobastank)

I saw your face and wanted to see if I could get your name. I saw your face and
I can't believe I found a miracle: you're so damn beautiful. (Justin Guarini)

At least we have our high school diplomas now, so no matter what, we can always
get a job at Walgreens! (haha ale...those are some high aspirations!)

I live for the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget.

I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new.
And the reason is you... ("The Reason" by Hoobastank)

We were 18 and it felt so right...sleeping all day, staying up all night!
("Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard)

It's hot. It's summer. It's time to hook up. (haha Kay and Susan...what a great

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. (Ralph Waldo

Maybe there is more truth in how you feel than in what actually happens. ("The
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants")

Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about
having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a
bunch of small pleasures. Wearing slippers and watching the Miss Universe
contest. Eating a brownie with vanilla ice cream...Maybe it didn't matter if you
were a world-famous heartthrob or a painful geek...Maybe you just got through
it. ("The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants")

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the
ways in which you yourself have altered. (Nelson Mandela)

Blood was thicker than water, but was thicker than both. ("The
Second Summer of the Sisterhood")

If you are what you eat, in my case, I'd be sweet, so come and get some. (Jason

If love and sex are such natural phenomenons how come there are so many books on
how to? (Bette Midler)

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in
dealing with men. (Joseph Conrad)

Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. No, conditioner is better.
I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh really fool? Really. Stop looking at me
swan. (Billy Madison)

It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect, or the girl is perfect, as long as they
are perfect for each other. (Good Will Hunting)

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. (Fr. Jerome Cummings)

Tap on my window, knock on my door. I wanna make you feel beautiful. ("She Will
Be Loved" by Maroon 5)

It's not always rainbows and butterflies; it's compromise that moves us along.
("She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5)

Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open, maybe we're bent and
broken...We were meant to live for so much more. ("Meant to Live" by Switchfoot)

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super. (Van Wilder)

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't
get you anywhere. (Van Wilder)

You shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. (Van Wilder)

If you're always thinking about the future, then you kinda forget about the
present. (Van Wilder)

First dates are interviews. (Van Wilder)

True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you
catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out
of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your
girlfriend. (Mitch in "Old School")

You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody to see it. (10 Things I
Hate About You)

Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And
memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record,
and they're irrelevant if you have the facts. (Memento)

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating. (Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind)

Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people
feel like crap. (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. (A Cinderella

You can't help who you're not supposed to. (Save the Last Dance)

Sounds like a case of the Mondays! (Office Space)

When you pull on that jersey, the name on the front is a hell of a lot more
important than the one on the back. (Miracle)

Today marks a profound and bittersweet milestone for all of us, as we bear
witness to both an end and a beginning. And while we must continue on, we must
also be grateful to have been blessed with someone who has so ably guided us to
where we are today. When there has been so much love and happiness for someone,
it is natural to be reluctant to close such a wonderful chapter in our lives,
for moving forward is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and
sadness. And while our sorrow may be profound, the clouds will clear, and the
sun will shine on us again. And in that warm, bright light we will find
ourselves facing a glorious future. A future of exciting challenges and infinite
possibilities, in which the horizon will stretch out before us, trimmed in the
heavenly glow of the sunrise of our tomorrow. (The Prince and Me)

Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that
I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. (Chasing

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great
friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure
that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are
the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I
know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the
furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I
just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to
hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that
longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you
without wanting to express my love for everything you are. (Chasing Amy)

I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You
have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs.
You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted
hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a
Tuesday when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink
'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does. (Tom Petty)

Love is a perky little elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he
turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

Sad thing is, you can still love someone and be wrong for them. (Elvis Presley)

Our greatest battles are those with our own minds. (Jameson Frank)

Expectation is the root of all heartache. (William Shakespeare)

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. (George
Bernard Shaw)

The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is
with one. (Joan Baez)

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. (Dr. Seuss)

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become
superfluous.(Ingrid Bergman)

You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close
your heart to things you don't want to feel.

Checking away messages: It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I
even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they
have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away
messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a
shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants.
Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the
creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that
one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin
up lookin at away messages". Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.

You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like
the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time
hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you.

I want to jump in front of every cab I see, because maybe then I'll stop
thinking about her. (Hitch)

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more,
that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what
you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. (The

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done,
they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of
light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.
(The Notebook)

Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when
you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your
forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who
holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty
without makeup on. The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her".

Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself, makes me want to lose
myself in your arms. There's something in your voice that makes my heart beat
fast. Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life. ("Feels Like Home")

Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination. (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days)

Take me to bed or lose me forever. (Top Gun)

Love is Pain. Life is pain, you can't protect anybody from it. It's always gonna
getcha. But sometimes life could also be good. But you gotta be open. You gotta
takes chances. You gotta let go! (Heartbreakers)

It's hard when things end. Even if nobody dies, even if you part on the best
possible terms, and there's nobody else involved. Even if you're the one who
lets go first. It's never easy. It always hurts. (Good in Bed)

You are a smelly pirate hooker!...Why don't you go back to your home on Whore
Island! (Anchorman)

I don't know how to put this... but, I'm kinda a big deal... people know me...
I'm very important... I have many leather-bound books... and my apartment smells
of rich mahogany. (Anchorman)

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take
it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you. (Anchorman)

I'm in a glass case of emotion! (Anchorman)

I'm going to punch you in the ovary, a straight shot right to the babymaker.

I love lamp. (Anchorman)

You were wrong if you think you could walk right through my door. That is just
so, coming back when I've finally moved on...I'm already gone...Doesn't I'm gone. (Kelly Clarkson)

Somehow I couldn't stop. I had turned into someone that I would have pitied in
another life; someone who searched for signs, who analyzed patterns, who went
over every word in a conversation looking for hidden meanings, secret signals,
the subtext that said, "Yes I still love you, of course I still love you". (Good
in Bed)

I wish I'd never loved him, I wish I'd never met him. Because I think that as
good as the good times were, it isn't worth feeling like this. (Good in Bed)

When you left I lost a part of me. It's still so hard to believe. Come back baby
please, cause we belong together. Who am I gonna lean on when times get rough?
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone til the sun comes up? Who's gonna take your
place, there ain't nobody better. O baby, baby, we belong together. (Mariah

Or maybe it was the end of love that I waqs feeling, the cool empty place that's
left inside you where all that heat and pain and passion used to be, the slick
of wet sand after the tide finally rolls back out. (Good in Bed)

...knowing something in your head was different than feeling something in your
heart. (Good in Bed)

Love is the rug they pull out from under you. Love is Lucy always lifting the
football at the last second so that Charlie Brown falls on his ass. Love is
something that every time you believe in it, it goes away. Love is for
suckers... (Good in Bed)

I learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned, or the way you
think they should. And I've learned that there are things that go wrong that
don't always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I've
learned that some broken things stay broken, and I've learned that you can get
through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people
who love you. (Good in Bed)

Things happen, and you can't make them un-happen. You don't get do-overs, you
can't roll back the clock, and the only thing you can change, and the only thing
it does any good to worry about, is how you let them affect you. (Good in Bed)

Love does things for reasons that reason cannot understand. (The Princess
Diaries 2)

Anyone can see your desires. No one knows what's in your heart. (The Princess
Diaries 2)

Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is
more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not
live at all. (The Princess Diaries)

I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
(Can't Hardly Wait)

There is fate, but it only takes you so far, because once you're there its up to
you to make it happen. (Can't Hardly Wait)

If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts. ("Mrs. Potter's
Lullaby" by the Counting Crows)

If you've never stared off into the distance then your life is a shame. ("Mrs.
Potter's Lullaby" by the Counting Crows)

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open
you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that
bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those
that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But
the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one
you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love,
well, that's just fabulous! (Sex and the City)

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our
lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have
babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come
into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are
always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. (Sex and the

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild
until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with. (Sex and the City)

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get
through it without your friends. (Sex and the City)

How we are in bed is how we are in life. I've never met a man who was bad in bed
but good at life. (Sex and the City)

Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now,
they get you so high. (Sex and the City)

I won't talk, I won't breathe, I won't move til you finally see that you belong
to me...I'm weak, it's true. Cuz I'm afraid to know the answer. Do you want me
too? Cuz my heart keeps falling faster...("True" by Ryan Cabrera)

All my life I've waited...this is true. ("True" by Ryan Cabrera)

You don't know what you do every time you walk into the room, I'm afraid to
move. ("True" by Ryan Cabrera)

What made you feel that stomach-churning agony for one person and not another?
If Bridget were God, she would have made it against the law for you to feel that
way about someone without them having to feel it for you right back. (Girls in

Sometimes trust felt like the worst gift in the world. (Girls in Pants)

The beautiful thing about getting someone to tell you what was wrong was that
you could tell them something to make it a little better. (Girls in Pants)

It was a mirace how when you looked hard enough, when you really sought out
information, there was so much to see, even in a person's tiniest gesture. There
was so much feeling, such a dazzling array of things that your words...could
never say. There were thousands of images and memories and ideas, if you just
let them come. There was the whole history of human experience somewhere
contained in each of the bits, the most universal in the most specific, if you
could only see it. It was like poetry...Either it was like poetry or it was like
getting really, really stoned. (Girls in Pants)

Try, reach, want, and you may fall. But even if you do, you might be okay
anyway. (Girls in Pants)

Sex could be a blissful communion. But it could also be a weapon, and its
absence, sometimes, was required for the establishment of peace. (Girls in

Sometimes you had to let the truth catch you by surprise. (Girls in Pants)

I sometimes think the stronger you feel about someone, the harder it is to
picture their face when you are away from them. (Girls in Pants)

Because when I lay with you in my bed, there was a moment when I could feel
everything you had been through, and I had this idea that if I could make you
happy, then I would be happy, too. (Girls in Pants)

You couldn't erase the past. You couldn't even change it. But sometimes life
offered you the opportunity to put it right. (Girls in Pants)

Do you think it is possible to love someone your entire life and never realize
it? (Win a Date with Tad Hamilton)

Sometimes Goliath kicks the shit out of David. It's just nobody bothers to tell
that story. (Win a Date with Tad Hamilton)

I've tried to go on like I never knew you. I'm awake but my world is
half-asleep. I've prayed for my heart to be unbroken...but without you all I'm
going to be is incomplete. (Backstreet Boys)

In this world there's real and make-believe...this seems real to me. ("Let Me
Go" by 3 Doors Down)

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a
common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be
forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's
ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has
always been enough. (The Notebook)

I guess what I really mean is college is like this four-year period you have
when you can try anything - and everything - and if it goes wrong, there's no
consequences...nobody's keeping score. You can do things that if you tried them
before you got to college, your family would be crying and pulling their hair
out and giving you these now-see-what-you've-gone-and-done looks...College is
the only time in your life when you can really experiment, and at a certain
point, when you leave, when you graduate or whatever, everybody's memory like
evaporates. You tried this and this and this and this, and you learned a lot
about how things are, but nobody's gonna remember it. It's like amnesia,
totally, and there's no record, and you leave college exactly the way you came
in, pure as rainwater. (I am Charlotte Simmons)

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed. (Carl Jung)

Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of
college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying
desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you
have to leave behind...But it is different now... We now know the meaning of
true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and
whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal
with the real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've
helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something
their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night
just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid stuff,
but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when
we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or
friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a
difference...And somehow, in someway, we will find our place between these two

Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of
the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find you and I collide. (Howie Day)

The dawn is breaking, a light shining through. You're barely waking, and I'm
tangled up in you. (Howie Day)

My weakness is that I care too much. (Papa Roach)

It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you. (Batman

You always fear what you don't understand. (Batman Begins)

Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up. (Batman

Crazy how it feels tonight...crazy how you make it all crush me
with the things you do...I'd do for you anything too. (DMB)

Am I right side up or upside down? Is it real or am I dreaming? Lovely lady I
will treat you sweetly...adore you...I crush me (DMB)

Lovely lady I am at your feet...God I want you so badly...I wonder this could
tomorrow be? So wondrous as you there sleeping. Let's go drive 'til morning
comes, watch the sunrise to fill our souls up. (DMB)

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew
up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have
some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. (Garden

I dreamt last night that I had special powers. That if I squeezed my eyes tight,
clenched my fists as close as possible, we'd all end up in paradise. I was a
super hero, and that was my power. (Garden State)

I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it. (Garden

If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you
like. (Garden State)

I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better. (Garden State)

Safe... when I'm with you I feel so safe... like I'm home. (Garden State)

True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. (Wedding

So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work
at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you,
for ever, you and me, every day. (The Notebook)

It was a feeling I'd never known...for the first time I didn't feel alone.
You're more than a lover. There could never be another to make me feel the way
you do. Oh we just get closer. I fall in love all over everytime I look at you.
I don't know where I'd be without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect're my best friend.

Men are shameless. If you're not thinking with your wiener then you're acting
directly on it's behalf. (Good Will Hunting)

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.
(Good Will Hunting)

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night
not knowing there was someone like you out there. (Good Will Hunting)

Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It's not about winning.
It's about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your
friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and
know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. And that
truth is you did everything you could. There wasnt one more thing you could've
done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in
your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that gentleman - you're
perfect! (Friday Night Lights)

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no
other girls can say anything about it. (Mean Girls)

It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or
newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters,
husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit
the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on
board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you
look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all
around. (Love Actually)

Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret
it if you don't. (Love Actually)

Christmas is the time to be with the people you love. (Love Actually)

You can't change who people are without destroying who they were. (The Butterfly

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start
with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find
someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how
do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any
heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is
there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not
fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try.
Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

You are everything I never knew I always wanted. (Fools Rush In and my baby <3)

You will never know love unless you surrender to it. (Fools Rush In)

Life's funny like that...once we let go of the wheel, you might end up right
where you belong. (Little Black Book)

I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end... we
don't. (Little Black Book)

Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not
worth it. (American History X)

What really matters is what you believe. (The Da Vinci Code)

You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you
think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't shit
without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half 'cause you know what
it's like to be whole.



Friday, October 23, 2009

Grandma's Hands



I was privileged to take a photo of "Five Generations of Women" shortly before my 93 year-old Grandmother passed away last year.  The photo, shown below, features the hands of my Grandmother, Mom, Sister, Niece and Great-Niece. While I can't take credit for the idea, I was so happy to have had the suggestion & capture this moment. It inspired a friend of mine to do something similar, which turned out so beautiful it became a special keepsake, prior to her father's passing.

Grandma's Hands

GRANDMA'S HANDS A must read thru to the end please!!
Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war..

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw , swollen and bent.. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you, and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying for one another. 


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Crickets Best Sledges

Greg Thomas, a Glamorgan fast bowler, thundered in and beat Vivian Richards's bat. "It's red and it's round. Can't you see it?" the bowler taunted. The next ball was precisely the same; pitching three quarters of length on middle and off, seaming away, and once again Richards was comprehensively beaten. "It's red and it's round and it weighs four-and-a-half ounces. Can't you see it?", Greg Thomas quipped. The next delivery was right in the slot, and Viv smashed the ball out of the ground and straight into the river that flowed around it. The batsman then said to the bowler: "You know what it looks like... now you go ******* get it!"

Glenn McGrath to Zimbabwean Eddo Brandes after Brandes had played and missed at a McGrath delivery: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so ing fat?" to which Brandes replied: "Cos every time I your wife she gives me a biscuit!" Apparently even the Australian slips were in hysterics.

Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond coming out to bat in an Ashes match: “Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family.”


Glen Mcgrath to a west indian batsman
"whats it like sucking lara's C****

the west indian replied
"i dunno ask your wife"

what makes it funnier is that mcgraths wife was battling cancer at the time so it showed up mcgraths inability to take what he dishes out



I go another one but its not very funny :( 

1993 - The Australian slip cordon allegedly greeted New Zealand batsman Chris Cairns with a chant of "Choo Choo" after his sister had just been killed in a train accident.



08-04-2006, 07:08 PM

Rod Marsh and Ian Botham. When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh
welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and

08-04-2006, 07:25 PM

i cant remember who said it but it he was one of the greats

any way he gets bowled for a duck or a low score by some newbie and then he promptly picks up the bails puts them back on the stumps says "theyve came here to see me bat, not you bowl" and then takes guard again and continues to bat



Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne. As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to
humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.



Shane Warne to an English Trollop: 'Oh baby, I swear this is going to be the ride of your life'. 'Have you put it in yet Shane?'




In one of the tour matches in South Africa, Australia played Hansie
Cronje's province. Cronje was at the non-strikers end. There was a chubby
batsman on strike. Ian Healy yelled to the bowler "Bowl a Mars Bar half way
down.We'll get him stumped." The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics.
The batsman retorted: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be on to it
before I can move."



Top 14

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh

welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife &

my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket,

Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to

humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo

Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"

Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I your wife, she gives me a


4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith

after he played & missed:"You can't ing bat". Smith to Hughes after he

smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't

ing bat & you can't ing bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv

a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets

please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies,

Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after

deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me.

In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him

he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say *ff."

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was

picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a

runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You

don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted

by Mark Waugh....... MW : " me, look who it is. Mate, what are you

doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO :

"Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does BrianLara's taste like?"

Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."

McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing

rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes

to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you

from a couple years ago in Australia. You were then, you're fu*king

useless now".

Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going

out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb


11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan

batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the

batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to

get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up,

"Put a kebab on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravishastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't

want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a

single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll

break your ing head"

Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the

ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a

couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I

going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first

slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At

the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I

should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.


18-05-2006, 12:12 PM

At the end of steve waughs career he had just come out to bat and a young keeper was giving him some crap so he turns around and says " have some respect son when i played my first test you were still in your diapers"


Best Cricket Sledges

Wiki refers to sledging as 'exchanging words with opposition player(s) which can put him(them) off their usual game; it is an attempt to "psych out" an opponent'. Cricket is a very interesting game, and sledging adds to it the extra spice that make it much more than just game.
Here is a compilation of the best sledging related incidents, witnessed in the history of cricket...

Sachin Tendulkar Vs Abdul Qadir

The year was 1989, the little master had recently made his debut in Pakistan.
Sachin not even old enough to get a driving licence Sachin Tendulkar was facing the best bowlers in the business. As the Pakistani crows jeered and mocked Sachin holding out the placards saying "" Dudh Pita Bhachcha ..ghar jaake dhoodh pee", (hey kid, go home and drink milk), Sachin sent the then young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover (he had hit two sixes in one over. The frustaded mentor of Mustaq Ahmed the legendary Abdul Qadir challenges Sachin saying " Bachchon ko kyon mar rahe ho? Hamein bhi maar dikhao` (`Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me.`).
Sachin was silent, since then we all have come to know that he lets his bat do the talking. Abdul Quadir had made a simple request and Sachin obliged, and how.
Sachin hit 4 sixes in the over, making the spinner look the kid in the contest. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6 6 6, David had felled Goliath ... and a legend was born.

The Prasad Vs Sohail Incident : Hero to Zero in 3 easy steps
Chasing India's score of 287-8, pakistan got off to a flyer of a start, Amir Sohail and Saeed Anwar went about tearing the Indian bowling attack. Pakistan looked all set to win as they reached 110 odd for the loss of just 1 wicket within the 15 overs.
1. Play a Great Shot: Amir Sohail was completely bent on demolishing the Indian bowling to pieces, charging down the track to the faster bowlers (if u can call Prasad that) in this particular case he came down the ground (a good 4-5 steps, anymore and he would have hit Prasad too) and slashed the bowl over vacant off side area... the ball disappeared into the fence in a flash ... what followed has since been etched in the memories of every cricket fan in the subcontinent.
2. Act Oversmart: Amir Sohail is no Miandad. But he tries to be,and fails miserably. Sohail after hitting the shot pointed his bat the area where the bowl had disappeared and then towards Prasad apparently gesturing where he will send the next one .
Its not everyday that you see a batsman sledging the bowler, and Sohail was about to learn just why.

3. Get what you called for: Sohail attempting to repeat the shot (albeit with his feet stuck to the ground this time) made room and exposed his stumps, and his weakness, and in return lost his wicket and his face.
As the wicket lay uprooted, Prasad returned the favour to Sohail, pointing to the pavilion this time.

The comeback was truly remarkable, almost a miracle .... Prasad has bowled thousands of deliveries and taken hundereds of wickets in his career but, it was this one granted him a place in the History of Indian Cricket .. for ever... the ghost of Miandad's last ball six was exorcised, once and for all.

You can also watch the video of the incident.

Steve Waugh Vs Curtly Ambrose Episode.
It really does not get any bigger than this, the two legends of cricket came face to face, literally and engrossed in a verbal duel in a test match in Trinidad. All the juicy details were not to be known until Steve Waugh came out with his autobiography.

Ambrose repeatedly stared Waugh down during a searing spell, and Waugh, who sized up the towering Ambrose, said: " What the f*ck are you looking at? "
Ambrose was stunned because, as Waugh says (in his Autobiography), "no one had ever been stupid enough" to speak to him like that.
Ambrose replied, "Don't cuss me, man", before Waugh's response, which had nothing to do with bowling.
"Unfortunately, nothing inventive or witty came to mind, rather another piece of personal abuse: 'Why don't you go and get f*cked.' "
The Windies skipper Richie Richardson had a hard time keeping Ambrose from hurting the Aussie.

McGrath Vs Brandes(the Best one till now….)

In a showdown of best pacers of two countries, Brandes made up for his complete absence of batting skills by some displaying some great sense of humor and presence of mind.
Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: " Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit ."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

Viv Richards v Greg Thomas
This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset.
Glamorgan quickie Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards' bat a couple of times and informed the legendary West Indian ace: " It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."
The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: " Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

Merv Hughes and Viv Richards:
Merv Hughes usually never short of a word while on the field, rarely keeps quite. During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. " This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: " In my culture we just say f*ck off. "

McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan:
Sarwan, the West Indies vice-captain, and McGrath went toe-to-toe in an ugly shouting match in Antigua in May 2003, The incident was sparked after Sarwan, on his way to a match-winning second-innings century, reportedly reacted to lurid taunts from McGrath by telling him he should get the answers from his wife, who was recovering from radiation therapy for secondary cancer.


Mark Waugh Vs Adam Parore
Mark Waugh was standing at second slip, Adam Parore relatively new to cricket came to the crease played & missed the first ball.
Mark Waugh- " Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now".
Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt ".

Ravi shastri v/s Mike Whitney:
Its common knowledge that Indian's usually don't resort to sledging, and the Aussies swear by it. In this rare ocassion the tables had turned and it was the Aussies who were at the receiving end.
Shastri hits the ball towards Mike Whitney (the 12th man in the game) and looks for a single, this guy gets the ball in and says
Whitney: "If you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head"
Shastri didn't bat an eyelid before replying : " If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man "

Merv Hughes Vs Cronje
Merv Hughes was one of the greatest exponents of the fine "art" of sledging. Once during a tour game in South Africa Hughes was bowling to Hansie Cronje . It was an especially flat wicket and Cronje was hitting Hughes for fours and sixes all over the place.
After the umpteenth boundary, Hughes headed down the pitch, stood near Cronje, let out a fart and said: "Try hitting that for six." It was five minutes before the guffawing stopped and play could resume.

Miandad Vs Lillee: The 'brats' clash:

Miandad played Lillee to s quare leg and completed an easy run, with a collision taking place in the center. According to Miandad, Lillee had tried to block him in the path. After a verbal exchange, Lillee went ahead and kicked Miandad on his pads. Miandad, started charging towards Lillee with his bat lifted high above the head, as if to hit him. The umpire's intervention prevented what could have turned out to be a real assault had Miandad gone head with his plans. However, the picture of Miandad hurling his bat at Lillee made the whole incident look even worse, and was promptly declared as the most indignified incident in the history of Cricket.
Lillee's version, to this day, had Miandad first hitting him with the bat, and then swearing at him. He maintained that there was no contact from his side throughout the incident.

Note: The author is awsare if the fact that this incident has nothing to do with sledging, but found the temptation of mentioning the episode was too hard to resist.

The Frog Jumping incident, 1992 India Vs Pakistan: India vs Pakistan matches are always a treat to watch, and if its the World Cup its stakes are even greater. Javed Miandad, the Bad boy of cricket, at the receiving end for once. Miffed by the verbals from Kiran More, he complains " Insaan khel rahe hain janwaar nahin" (Human beings are playing not animals). And after a sharp run out chance, where Miandad closely survives Miandad starts jumping up and down, face distorted imitating Kiran More's appealing. A sight to behold. Pure comedy. Pakistan loses the match but go on to win the cup.
'I did it instinctively
', Miandad later told. He added, 'Hey, is this the way you appeal for everything? Don't appeal like that '. You can also watch the video of the incident.

Dropped the Cup?
Perhaps the most famous sledge in a World Cup match took place the epic Super Six clash between Australia


and South Africa (in 2003). South Africa looked on course to a routine victory with Australian captain Steve Waugh at the crease and on 56. At that stage, Waugh clipped the ball in the air straight to South African fielder Herschelle Gibbs. In his haste, Gibbs dropped the ball when attempting to throw it in the air in celebration as he had not fully controlled it. As he passed him, Waugh is said to have asked Gibbs: " How does it feel to have dropped the World Cup?". Waugh carried on to make an unbeaten 120 and Australia posted an unlikely win and won the World Cup a few days later.
Waugh has however denied that quote, instead claiming that he said " looks like you've dropped the match".

Dennis Lillee Vs Sunil Gavaskar
Dennis Lillee and Sunil Gavaskar, were involved in a war of words in the 3rd Test, MCG, February 1981. A historic win for India in that Test would definitely not have taken place had Sunil Gavaskar not calmed down. He clashed with Australian

fast bowler Dennis Lillee, who Gavaskar claims abused him after claiming his wicket and the Indian captain asked non-striker Chetan Chauhan to walk off the field, forfeiting the match. Gavaskar was batting on 70 when Lillee appealed for a leg before decision. Gavaskar showed his bat to the umpire, indicating he had 'nicked' the ball before it hit his pads. Angry words were exchanged between the batsman and the bowler, and Lillee even went to the extent of pointing to the batsman the spot where the ball had his pads. The decision went in favour of the bowler and as Gavaskar started his long, dejected walk back to the pavilion, Lillee turned around and abused him. That was it. Gavaskar snapped, and decided to forfeit the match.
Later, Gavaskar was to write in his book 'Idols': "That (the walkout) was the most regrettable incidents of my life. Whatever may be the provocation and whatever the reason, there was no justification for my action and I realize now that I did not behave the way a captain and sportsman should ."

Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel

Amidst all the hype surrounding his farewell match, Steve Waugh had to contend with an unexpected dose of his own medicine from a player half his age.
As Waugh fought a grim battle to stave off defeat in the series-deciding fourth Test in Sydney, 19 year-old Indian wicket-keeper Parthiv Patel tried to unsettle the veteran batsman through some banter.
The baby-faced Patel egged on the 38 year-old stalwart to play one of his sweep shots one last time.
The India 'keeper was saying, 'Come on, just one more of the famous slog-sweeps before you finish'
Waugh replied: 'Look, show a bit of respect. You were in nappies when I debuted 18 years ago' .

Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne.
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. " Looks like you spent it eating ," Cullinan retorted.

Barmy Army Vs Shane Warne
England's "Barmy Army" recently decided to sledge leg spinner Shane Warne musically, and it has been described as boorishly personal, but effective.
The sledge was based on Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - the "Where's your poppa gone?" Song. It has been converted to " Where's your missus gone?" (Warne had recently been divorced ith ife)

Special Mention:
Inzamam-ul-Haq once told Brett Lee to " stop bowling off spinners".

In the recent Karachi Test when Irfan Pathan came to bat in 2nd Innings Afridi shouted two times " O mera Shehzada aaya ! " (Oh! my prince has come) .



Healthy way to drink

Submitted by Pramoth

This is an excerpt from a very good dietician who himself consumes alcohol but follows these steps to make sure he remains lean. And Raghu and Rajat, please be assured that consuming alcohol is the next best way to add calories after having fat rich food. So read on.

Of course, if you have no problem abstaining from alcohol, then that will certainly be the best thing for your health and your body.

However, for the rest of us, that actually do like to partake in some social drinking, here are a few tips that have helped me to stay single-digit body fat lean, while still drinking occasionally.

1. Obviously alcohol gives you extra empty calories on the days that you choose to drink. Alcohol has 7 calories per gram, compared to 4 calories per gram for carbs and protein, and 9 calories per gram for fats.

On nights that I know are going to involve some drinking, it helps to make sure that dinner is based only around protein and vegetables. You're going to take in a lot of empty calories with the alcohol, so eating a good portion of appetite-satisfying protein along with nutrient-rich vegetables can help to control your appetite and give your body the nutrients it needs.

Plus, most importantly, there's just no room for loads of carbohydrate-rich foods if you're also going to be consuming alcohol. Carbs + alcohol is a perfect recipe for growing a beer belly!

2. If you want to save your body from adding layers of ugly fat, by all means stay away from syrupy, fruity drinks that are loaded with sugar... this is a double whammy for your gut as you're not only getting all of the empty alcohol calories, but also loads of empty sugar calories. Big fruity drinks such as a margarita can sometimes have as much as 500-600 calories per serving!

Instead, your best bet is to stick with a clear alcohol mixed with club soda and a squeeze of lime or lemon. Vodka with club soda and extra lemon/lime squeeze is my drink of choice at the bars/nightclubs.

Stay away from tonic water mixers! Some people don't realize this, but tonic water is loaded with almost as much sugar as regular soda pop... on the other hand, club soda has no calories at all. It's clearly the lowest calorie way to drink.

3. If you're going to drink beer, you're better off choosing just 1 or 2 dark beers rather than 5 or 6 light beers.  Sure, dark beers have more calories than light beers, but dark beers also have more B vitamins and antioxidants than light beers, so you actually get more nutrition from the dark beer.  As long as you keep it to just 1 or 2 dark beers, you may still stay within 150-400 calories.

4.  Try to get in a high intensity full body workout before your night out of drinking. At least you've revved up your metabolism and have your body processing calories a little faster. (doesn’t apply to any of you)

Also, trying to get in some sort of exercise the morning after your night out can also help to get your body back to a good state of health. This may not be your best workouts in terms of energy, but it can help to just get your body moving and break a sweat.

5. Avoid the late-night munchies after a night of drinking! This is where most people do the biggest damage to their waistlines.

Instead, make sure to have some lean protein and vegetables quickly available at home (perhaps some pre-cooked chicken breasts, grass-fed steaks, or even tuna fish and some veggie sticks) so that you can satisfy your late night post-party appetite with lean protein instead of carbohydrates.

The worst thing for your body is loading up on pizza, ice cream, and other carb-rich junk after a night out of drinking.

6. If you drink multiple drinks socially, try to keep drinking alcohol to only 1-2 days/week maximum if you want to stay lean. On the other hand, if you never drink more than 1-2 drinks per day, I think having 1-2 drinks daily with a meal can still be part of a healthy lifestyle. As long as those calories are accounted for and you still stay within your daily caloric maintenance.

7. Wine is one of the healthier drink choices... if you must have a drink, you might as well choose wine so you at least get a good dose of antioxidants as well. Red wine is known for it's antioxidant content, however even white wines contain antioxidants as well.

And finally, like I mentioned before, drinking alcohol just adds one more thing to your list that you have to work against in getting the body you want.

Abstaining may always be the best choice, BUT we also need to be realistic and know that social drinking is not something that most people are willing to give up entirely.

For that reason, this list of tips to help manage social drinking in a healthier way can really help you to stay leaner and healthier and still balance a little bit of social drinking into your life.


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